Going back in time

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I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing this week. An old friend found me on Facebook last week, and in the process of catching up, I got out some old photos. I hadn’t seen or heard from this person in sixteen years, and hadn’t even thought of them in just about as long. When I started thinking back, and looking at the photos, it took me back and reminded me of a lot of things I hadn’t thought of over the years.

I also spent some time looking at some of those same photos, and a few others, with my kids. We laughed at photos of my oldest with an entire cookie stuffed into his mouth, or my youngest as a newborn asleep in my arms as I held him next to a very tiny snowman. I realized that I need to wear make up more often when they looked at a photo of me from before they were born, with make up, and they were both totally awed at what I look like with make up.

Everyone always tells you to focus on the future, to look ahead and plan ahead. I agree with that, and I do that, but I also think that sometimes it can be good to look behind you, too. Seeing where you came from, where you’ve been and what you’ve overcome can be very helpful in the moving forward process.

I was nineteen the last time I saw the friend who found me last week. Looking back at the photos of myself at nineteen, with much longer hair, a big smile, and a before-children body, I could vaguely recall the girl I was at the time. Now, I’m thirty-five and I’m very different from that girl. My hair is shorter, my smiles a little tired, and I’m not nearly as innocent and trusting as I was back then. I wonder if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

But I wouldn’t go back. That’s the one thing that really came to me as I flipped through the pictures. As much fun as being nineteen, or twenty-one, or twenty-five, or even thirty was, I wouldn’t go back. I’m thirty-five, which once seemed so ancient to me, but I’m happy here. I’m comfortable with who I am, where I am, and how I got here. I know myself, and I get to know myself even better everyday. I know what I want – from relationships, from my career, from life in general. These are all things I didn’t have at those ages, and I wouldn’t trade those things for being younger.

I’ve made peace with the bad things that happened to me on my way to this point in my life. I have beautiful children, a career that I always wanted, friends that love and accept me for who I am, and that’s all I need.

The timing of all this looking back was also kind of interesting because I scheduled a Kindle Countdown Deal for Ripped Away that starts tomorrow. In Ripped Away, Laurel and Alex are two people whose pasts aren’t really behind them. Laurel is still dealing with her ex-husband, who can’t seem to take no for an answer, and Alex’s life is turned upside down when the children of some of his previous clients go missing and he’s the only link. Alex is arrested and Laurel begins to think that maybe her professional skills as a detective have failed her in her personal life. Together, they have to figure out who’s behind the abductions before it’s too late.

You can pick up Ripped Away starting tomorrow, August 2 through  the following Saturday, August 9, for just $.99! I hope you’ll get a copy and enjoy! And if you don’t do ebooks, you can get $4 off the paperback copy in my CreateSpace store with this code: LLBKHJC6. That code is ONLY valid in my CreateSpace store, not on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or anywhere else you can buy my books.

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