I’m so excited to share my newest creation with you!
It’s Back to Me: A 90-Day Journal for Moving On After Divorce.
Let’s be honest, okay? Divorce sucks!
It doesn’t matter if it was your decision, your ex-spouse’s, or a mutual decision. It still sucks, and hurts, and changes everything about your life. It changes your present, as you try to navigate through changing your marital status, how you parent, and even your last name. And it changes your future, as you realize that the person you’ve been imagining would be by your side for life isn’t going to be there after all.
Moving on can be hard.
We can end up reliving the past as we try to figure out where it all went wrong, what we could have done differently, and playing good (and sometimes bad) memories over and over again.
But we can also feel anxious about the future. All the different hopes, dreams, and goals we once had are suddenly in question. Can we still have them? Do we even still want them? And if we want them and can have them, do they need to look different now that we’re single again?
This combination of living in the past and worrying about the future can make the present a pretty uncomfortable place to be. It can make the present seem more like a weigh station on the highway of life, a quick stop along the way between past and future.
But that’s not what the present is at all! The present is the only moment we really have and we need to find a way to make it more comfortable so we’re not trying to get away from it by going backward or rushing forward.
And how can we do that? With this journal!
Back to Me is a place where you can take some concentrated, mindful time each day to reflect on a specific prompt. With this prompt, you’ll reflect on the past, contemplate the future, and make plans for a more pleasant present moment spent co-parenting with your ex and getting to know yourself again.
There are 90 prompts, making this a three month journal. Does this mean you’ll be healed and totally moved on after three months? There are no guarantees so I won’t lie and say yes. But I can say that it will have moved you along the path to healing. You’ll be closer to being healed than you were before you started the journal.
The prompts aren’t all there is to this journal.
You’ll also find:
- A vision board: Take some time to reflect on the six areas of life outlined and what you want them to look like going forward. Write it down so you’re more motivated to manifest it.
- A self-care activity list: Self-care is important for everyone but it’s critical when you’re trying to heal. This list of more than 65 activities will help you find ways to nurture and take care of yourself.
- Confidence quick boost: No matter who decided on the divorce, your confidence might have taken a hit. This page will help you remember the amazing things you’ve done before so you can remember how awesome you are!
- Affirmations: Affirmations help boost confidence, ease depression, and many other things. Tape this page to your mirror, record yourself saying the affirmations to play back, or choose one a day/week to repeat to yourself during meditation.
Why did I create this journal?
In the wake of my own divorce, I distinctly remember the struggles I had with letting go of the past and embracing a new and different future. I had two small children which gave me some motivation for moving forward, but most of my forward progress for a long time was about necessity. It was returning to school to get a skill I could use to feed, clothe, and shelter my kids. It was cooking to feed them, doing housekeeping so they lived in a clean home, and pretending things were fine so they wouldn’t sense how lost I felt.
But I had no real idea what I wanted from my future. I came up with a few half-hearted goals that I thought I “should” have but didn’t really feel inspired to reach. I spent a lot of time looking back over the debris of my failed marriage and trying to figure out why it had all happened.
And it just made me miserable.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have many people in my life that had any experience with divorce. So I had no one to really offer me any guidance. No one to ask me who I was now that I was single, or who I wanted to be, or how I felt about relationships after what had happened.
I had no one to suggest forgiveness for me or my ex. No one to suggest creating a playlist to boost my mood or to make my picking through the marriage debris more productive by finding the things it held that I would want in a future relationship.
So I created this divorce journal to serve as that for you. Even if you aren’t ready or able to work with a coach, even if you don’t have any friends or family who know how to support you as you go through this, even if you’re not sure where to even start trying to heal – this journal can help you.
The prompts will encourage you to make the time you spend thinking about your failed marriage and subsequent divorce an investment rather than wasted time that stresses you out and makes you anxious or angry. The time is now invested in thinking about things that can truly help you let go and start moving forward.
More importantly, it offers you a way to structure your life so that you don’t spend all your time living in the past or worrying about the future. You can choose your prompt, spend some time thinking about it, write down your responses, and then… close the book and go live in the moment!
It offers you a chance to stop letting your mind just randomly think about the divorce, the marriage, and all that bothers you about it and instead set a specific time and place to think about a specific aspect of it all. And then, when you’re done, you get to let it all go until the next day.
This frees your mind, giving you the mental space to get back out there into your life and start living it. To enjoy lunches with friends, quality time with your kids, and engage in activities you enjoy.
Ready to check it out?