Answering a few questions

There’s been quite a few questions that I’ve gotten rather regularly lately, so I’ve decided to go ahead and answer them here. In no particular order:

1. Have you heard anything new about the Independent Contractor’s Scam? I have not. I have checked the email address that I used with them a few times and received no further responses. However, based on the number of responses I’ve received from you all saying that you were scammed as well, I would say it’s safe to say they’re still busy scamming people.

2. What can I do if they scammed me? Well, as stated in the articles, there’s unfortunately not much you can do. You can report them to the Better Business Bureau. If you pay by check, you should definitely call and put a stop payment on it. If you used a credit or debit card, contact the issuer and ask them for advice on how to protect your account.

3. How can I avoid being scammed? Again, there are some tips in the articles. My best advice would be to trust your instincts. If you feel they are being too pushy, or you are just uncomfortable, don’t give in just to get rid of them. Tell them no and ask them to leave – if they don’t, call the police. I will say one thing that’s a bit different than what I said in the article: I said that you should step inside, go online and check them out before you agree to a purchase. Upon thinking about this, if you feel uncomfortable enough that you need to do this, it’s probably better to just say no and be done with it. It goes back to trusting your instincts.

4. How do I tell my husband I want a divorce? This question surprises me for several reasons. One being that I’m not a therapist or anything like that. Another being that although I do mention being a single mother, I never mentioned being divorced. I am divorced, however. I will give you the best advice I can, but remember that I am not any kind of trained expert – just a woman who writes happy endings for fake people. šŸ™‚

When I told my former husband I wanted a divorce, it was in the middle of an argument. I won’t go into details, as it is private, but I did know before that argument that I wanted a divorce. I admit that this was not the best way to handle it. Aside from the fact that he didn’t take me seriously because I was angry, it’s just not the right way to handle it.

If you’re sure you want a divorce, and you’ve done everything you can to save the marriage, sit down with him when you are both calm. If you’re concerned about his reaction, do it in public. Tell him face to face, and be firm. Do not say “I think I want a divorce.” Say “I want a divorce.” Leave no room for doubt if you have made up your mind.

If you are in an abusive marriage, however, just leave. Don’t tell him you’re leaving, that you’re unhappy, that you want a divorce. Just pack up yourself (and your kids, if you have any) and get the hell out of there. Go to a women’s shelter or your family and let him find out you want a divorce when he is served with the paperwork.

5. We want to know more about your kids. How old are they? What are their names? (and other assorted questions) Thank you for enjoying my book, and my site, enough to be so interested in my life. I don’t share information about my children with the general public, though. I appreciate and understand your interest, but my children didn’t sign up for a life in the public eye. I have to consider their futures, and that the things I post here could potentially have an impact on their futures. Stories that I find amusing may be rather embarrassing if a future employer or girlfriend came across them. And though I often tease that I will show said future girlfriend embarrassing photos or share that most humiliating story, the truth is, the last thing I want to do is embarrass either of my sons. I will tell you that they are both boys, both very healthy and active, and they both think it’s “very cool” (their words) that you all have expressed an interest in them.

6. My relationships. The questions about my relationship have been rather varied, and I’ll do my best to answer them. Here we go:

What is your relationship status? I am currently single.

Can you tell us about your boyfriend/husband? I can’t, because there isn’t one. If there was one, telling you about him would honestly depend on him. As with my kids, men that I date aren’t necessarily signing up for life in the public eye. And even if they are comfortable with that, generally speaking they (and I, as well) would prefer to keep our relationship between the two of us. Out of respect for his privacy and to preserve the trust in our relationship, I would likely be willing to share that I’ve gotten involved, but no further details than that.

Do you date men like your book heroes? I’m not entirely sure if this is referring to their personalities or their appearance. My heroes tend to be the tall, dark and handsome variety. In general, most of the men I’ve dated have been tall and dark, so I suppose in a sense, yes, I do. However, I don’t base my relationships on physical appearance (the one time I unintentionally did, it ended in a spectacular disaster). I’m drawn to intelligence, first and foremost. I love good conversation. Honesty is another big draw for me. A sense of humor, family ties, a man who has good friendships and works hard are all things that matter to me as well. Sometimes I find those qualities in a man who fits “tall, dark and handsome.” Other times he might be short, blond, and a bit out of shape. Who knows?

How does your boyfriend/husband feel about your sex scenes? Are they based on real life? Well, again, there isn’t anyone to be bothered. I do not really base sex scenes on real life. I have occasionally drawn inspiration from a particular experience, but in general, if my own life comes into play, it’s more that I reflect on a memory or two in order to find the feelings I wish to convey. As far as how a man should or would feel about the sex scenes – well, I can’t control how he feels. I can say that, as other writers will agree, often what we write about are the things that we personally would or do enjoy (it’s kind of hard to write about something you don’t enjoy and make it sound fun!). So, if a man really wanted to know how to get to me, he could read what I’ve written and have a very good idea of where to start, at least. He should not, however, be concerned that the things we do together will ever be laid out on the pages of a book for all the world to read. Having the trust of my significant other is incredibly important to me, much more so than writing down a great sex scene that he might have given me. Actually, this applies to the entire relationship, not just the sex scenes.

And that’s as personal as I’m going to get. šŸ˜€

Do you find it easier to write romance when you’re single or when you’re in a relationship? Truthfully, being single or involved really doesn’t affect my writing. The ease with which I write changes depending on the day. For example, yesterday I worked on one scene all day long and only wrote one paragraph (which is going to disappear today), because it just wouldn’t flow. The day before that, I wrote one scene in about a half hour. It all depends on my mood, the weather, time of day, everything.

So, that answers your questions for now. I enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to ask me any other questions. šŸ™‚